It took me just 18 months to lose 130 lbs, and while I did it the correct way; with steady and calculated diet and exercise, it is still a short amount of time. It takes a little while for your mind to catch up with your body and that has been remarkably true for me especially.
Some days I feel amazing and light on my feet; some days I still feel completely unworthy in my skin. This is such a common side effect of a large weight loss or in fact, of any drastic change to your body, mind, or life.
I read some staggering statistic that people who have altered their weight in any significant way often end up with a pattern of disordered eating or tendencies for image dysmorphia.
For me, that means binge eating and I struggle with it often. It has taken me a long time to realize that my love affair with food is actually quite dangerous, and always lurking.
I am still figuring out how to train my mind to exist in reality, and not within my own negative perception of reality and myself.
Honestly, like most people, it depends on the day. Women have a tough time accepting that their outward presentation is acceptable to the world. We are taught, no, trained, to believe that we have to confine ourselves into a space that only a very small percentage of the population can fit.
We are targeted for high fashion, beauty, and things disguised as promoting ‘health’ when really all they promote is an image. It can be hard to quiet the noise and take a moment to consider this constant pressure to conform to an ideal that doesn’t belong to you, and isn’t on your path.
The most important tool to counteract this obstacle, for me, has been the simple act of self-reflection.
What is my goal?
What are my reasons?
What is my desired outcome?
Does this serve my happiness?
Everyone who is unhappy with the way they look is fighting against it and trying to seek out physical change, but I can assure you that regardless of how you’re able to reshape your body, you will not find contentment with your physical being until you find the peace within your mind.
It has helped me immensely to level set with myself on what is a perceived idea versus an actual fact.
There will always be mornings when you wake up bloated from the night before and there will always be days where you feel like you haven’t quite done or achieved enough. No matter your shape or your size, we all make these considerations day to day.
Have you ever heard someone belittle the thought of another based on whether they think they were worthy to think or feel it?
Let me give you an example:
A slim woman says out loud; “I feel so pudgy today!”
Is a fat woman then allowed to assess that the slim woman isn’t allowed to feel that way because of how they perceive her body type to be?
Doesn’t it sound kind of ridiculous when you put it that way?
My point is, we all have a way of allowing the negativity to get in. And often we can let it sit and linger for so long that it can become a poisonous mindset. There are so many days that we all wake up feeling less than ideal – but why?
Ask yourself a few affirming questions on those mornings:
Am I healthy?
Am I happy?
Am I strong?
Am I better than I was before?
I’ll leave you with this final ask:
Are you as kind to yourself as you are to others?